Next Contestant
by blackroseofvengeance
Summary: Everyone's always flirting with Orihime and her possessive boyfriend, Ichigo wants it to stop. Oneshot. Songfic. Warm and fluffy at the end.


_Haven't done a fanfic for so long. Sorry about that. I've been on FP for too long. So this is my first Bleach fanfic. It's a songfic with the song Next Contestant by Nickelback. _

_**UPDATE: Someone was nice enough to inform me that this was under Ichigo and Love rather than Ichigo and Orihime. SORRY FOR ANY CONFUSION CAUSED**_

_I don't own Bleach, Nickelback or Next Contestant. _

_I judge by what she's wearing  
Just how many heads I'm tearing  
Off of assholes coming on to her  
Each night seems like it's getting worse_

Kurosaki Ichigo was pissed. Very pissed. At every opportunity, some one was touching her breasts, making comments about them or just generally molesting her. And the most annoying thing was, all of the guys who harassed her, knew that she was his girlfriend. Anyone who didn't know this simple fact was oblivious or stupid, particularly as he'd so kindly marked her neck with a nice, big hickey to tell everyone that she was taken. And lately, it was getting worse, way worse. Even freaking _hollows _were staring at her.

_And I wish she'd take the night off  
So I don't have to fight off  
Every asshole coming on to her  
It happens every night she works_

Every freaking fight they got into, everywhere they went, someone grabbed her. Ichigo gripped the glass tightly and looked at Orihime Inoue. She was being harassed again. The music from the party blasted loudly, echoing throughout Ichigo's brain. The past six fights, people and asked for her number. Even fucking _souls _had asked her out. Ichigo had immediately and violently performed the soul burial on each of these souls. He was highly tempted to ask Inoue to stop helping him fight. He was fed up of beating guys left, right and centre. His knuckles still hurt from beating the last one

_They'll go and ask the DJ  
Find out just what would she say  
If they all tried coming on to her  
Don't they know it's never going to work  
They think they'll get inside her  
With every drink they buy her  
As they all try coming on to her  
This time somebody's getting hurt  
_

The glass dropped out of his hands and shattered all over the floor. His jaw dropped. His fucking DAD was trying to get Orihime to dance. What the hell. He clenched his fists, furious. Now he was offering her alcohol. DIDN'T HE KNOW ORIHIME WAS A MINOR. He growled quietly under his breath. Yuzu came up to him, berating him for breaking the glass before giving him another one. Karin, who had come with her, followed his line of sight.

'Don't mind him.' she snorted. 'Idiot.' Ichigo ignored her and strode over to where his father and Orihime were dancing. He kicked his father away from her and then returned to his spot. He would have spent more time with her but he didn't like dancing and Inoue did. So he left her to it.

_Here comes the next contestant_

Is that your hand on my girlfriend?  
Is that your hand?  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping  
There goes the next contestant

Shinji, who'd always been rather overfriendly with Inoue sidled up to her and started talking to her. He was standing to close to her for Ichigo's liking. He placed his hand on her shoulder in that over familiar way of his. For a top Vaizard, it was strange that he didn't notice the crushing, murderous reiatsu directed at him. Ichigo was tempted to unleash the fury of his hollow but no, Yuzu would kill him. Not such a good idea. As it was, it appear that he was being saved the trouble. Chizuru used her Special Move: Chizuru Genocide to hurl Hirako into a wall.

_I even fear the ladies  
They're cool but twice as crazy  
Just as bad for coming on to her  
Don't they know it's never going to work_

This, however, turned out to be not a blessing but a curse.

'So Orihime-chan, how about a cute smile?' She grabbed Orihime's face. Ichigo cursed under his breath. How long would it take Chizuru to realise that Orihime was NOT a lesbian. He answered his own question: Until the end of time.

_Each time she bats an eyelash  
Somebody's grabbing her ass  
Everyone keeps coming on to her  
This time somebody's getting hurt_

Here comes the next contestant

'Move it, woman.' Ichigo's jaw dropped in dismay. _Grimmjow _was asking out _his _girlfriend. He snarled. FUCKING HOLLOW. Grimmjow was the reason for this party. The shinigami had thrown it when he joined their side. It turned out that he was not dead, seriously injured, but not dead. Orihime had healed him and he'd joined their side shortly after. Unfortunately, he ex-Espada now had developed an attachment to her. And it pissed Ichigo off to no end. Grimmjow leaned in and whispered something in her ear and with that, Ichigo snapped.

_Is that your hand on my girlfriend?  
Is that your hand?  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping  
There goes the next contestant_

'DIE!' He bellowed, unleashing Zangetsu. 'Bankai. Tensa Zangetsu.' There was no messing around. Ichigo had had it. Grimmjow responded with equal violence.

'Grind, Pantera!' He growled, exposing his released form. The two fought ferociously, paying no attention to the cries of the other's around them.

Eventually, the two managed to destroy the building, scattering the people. Ichigo sheathed Zangetsu, satisfied that he had knocked out Grimmjow. He suddenly became aware of all the carnage he'd created. _SHIT_

_I'm hating what she's wearing  
Everybody here keeps staring  
Can't wait 'til they get what they deserve  
This time somebody's getting hurt_

Here comes the next contestant

'INOUE! INOUE!' A voice that was definitely not his called. 'Are you alright.'

'Yes. I'm fine, Ishida-kun.' Inoue replied. Now ISHIDA was betraying him. Who next? Chad? Urahara? Kenpachi? And why was she wearing such an exposing outfit. Her breasts were hanging out, goddamnit. Why did everyone hit on his girlfriend. What's more, why did she let them?

_Is that your hand on my girlfriend?  
Is that your hand?  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping  
There goes the next contestant_

As for that Ulquiorra bastard, forget it. With his kidnapping speech, the guy thought he could get into his girlfriend's pants. When he finally tried it on with Orihime, Ichigo had beaten him. Badly. It was a one sided battle. Tensa Zangetsu had been stained completely red that day. Ulquiorra hadn't even been identifiable.

_I wish you'd do it again  
Each night seems like it's getting worse  
I wish you'd do it again  
This time somebody's getting hurt_

There goes the next contestant

But despite Ichigo worries, Orihime thanked Ishida for his worries and pushed him gently away. She hurried to Ichigo, kissed him and gave him a hug.

'Ichi, you know I love you, right?' Ichigo looked down at her, leaning against him, eyes closed. _How could I ever have doubted her._

'Yeah. I love you too, Orihime.' Orihime looked around at the destruction caused, all over her.

'I can see that.' They ambled away from the rubbish pile, fingers interlocked.


End file.
